The Veterans Administration is starting many more PTSD groups to help the men and women returning from overseas, or other reasons. A requirement was that you had to be participating in the mental health program for more than a year. For that reason they asked for a little history about the applicant. This is my history.
I was born on October 12, 1970 in Blackfoot , Idaho. Seventy-two days prior, my father was killed
in a car accident. Thirty years or so
later, as a college student, I began to work toward a psychology degree Interestingly, studies show that children
whose mother experiences a traumatic event during pregnancy have a higher risk for mental
illness such as PTSD, Bipolar Disorder or even
Schizophrenia.
Hindsight tells me that my symptoms of Bi-Polar and
PTSD began to demonstrate themselves in my late teens and early twenties. During the times I was pregnant (1990-1991
and 1993-1994) the symptoms deteriorated, partially.
Over the years I displayed all the classic symptoms: Casual sex,
marital infidelity, lack of financial abilities, irrational behaviors. These
were just a few that exhibited themselves on and off. Eventually, suicide attempts and suicidal idealizations would become a life and death danger for me.
It was these symptoms that led to the demise of my
marriage, nearly destroyed my relationship with my children, cost me employment, and strained
relationships with many family and friends.
It has taken years to rebuild my relationship with my daughters. My oldest and I are on the track of
understanding.
However, in the last 5
years my youngest daughter would not speak to me at all as she felt I abandoned
her. Only now, as a young adult, is she realizing that was not the case.
I have bits and pieces or complete blackout of
memories from my childhood all the way to my early to mid-thirties. Sometimes they can be brought back during a
conversation; others I have to trust what I am
being told is the truth.
In 2007, I returned to school with the goal to
achieve my degree in both Psychology and Political Science. My goal from the beginning of school was to
find employment which would assist Veterans in receiving their deserved
benefits. I wanted to see them get those
benefits in a timely manner, as I know from
experience how frustrating it was to wait and wait. I also wanted to be able to
help others who had once found themselves in situations I could relate to. I
wanted to help those I could before their lives became the terrible mess I had
lived with
While I am a member of the Psychology National Honor
Society, I will not be able to graduate with
that degree. There are two mathematical
courses required and I am unable to achieve a passing grade for the
pre-requisites. “While I’ve passed all other degree requirements, I have been repeatedly
unable to achieve a passing grade for the two mathematical courses required.”
I will graduate with my Political Science Degree in
December 2013. The Political Science
Department and my advisor were able to assist me in presenting paperwork to the
Math Department and the Dean’s office showing that, while I can read and write strong
informational papers, I have a mathematical disability. It was agreed I would not need math for this
degree to be productive.
Since 2006, I have been treated by the Veterans
Administration Mental Health Department.
I work with Dr. Christopher Vinegra in Salt Lake City, Utah. Recently I have started the use of “My Health
Buddy” the electronic monitor that is observed by a case manager in Salt Lake
City. Michael Tracy has been assigned my
case and has been a wonderful resource as I have had the ability to talk with
him via email or telephone. It was with
his assistance that Dr. Vinegra was able to determine I had been dealing with
dementia at the end of April 2013, until the middle of may 2013.
Every Veteran and their story
is unique, however, the common bond of being a Veteran is not. Veterans often
feel it is easier to talk to other Veterans instead of outside employees.
I pursued my Political Science degree because I am
horrified at the statistics of suicides among Veterans. I have been in that precarious place and I
understand how quickly a rash decision can become a matter of life and
death. I am disgusted by the numbers of
homeless veterans, especially the percentage of women and children. I believe
there is too little being done to help Veterans cope with these matters. This is a result of ten plus years of being
at war, something the Veterans Administration was not prepared for, nor for
soldiers who did multiple tours of duty in areas of high risk.
I understand the frustration of mental illness. I find the media’s portrayal of a mentally
ill person abhorrent. When a patient has
positive reinforcement and is following the plans laid out between doctors and
family members,
most are productive citizens.
Yet many Veterans are hesitant to come forward as
they feel the label will be something everyone will know and everyone will
consider a weakness. It is only through
our Peers, Vietnam Era Vets, Gulf War Vets, and the men and women in
Afghanistan, that we begin to realize it isn’t just you.
It isn’t just your buddy. There are
many of us and drawing strength from one another is one of the best solutions
to start stepping toward recovery.
AUTHOR: GEM's Sparkle
AUTHOR: GEM's Sparkle
